would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
