she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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