I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
