Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
