I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
