it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
