whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
