We won't sleep together?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
