So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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