Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
