she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
