Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
