Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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