I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
