6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
