I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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