Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
