Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
