I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
