What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
