haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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