hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
