i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
