and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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