I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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