On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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