am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
