He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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