I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
