Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
