I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
