I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
