If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
well you can't waste a boner
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
