doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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