I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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