maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
