i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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