did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
