My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
