I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
