So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
