Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
