the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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