fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
That's intense
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Even my vagina gasped.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
