u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
