i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
