Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I supernannyed him into submission
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
