also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
