also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
