please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
