How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
