the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
